Nine months ago, on this day, love became very real to me. And each day I feel it more.

Plans (a very long post...)

Why do we attempt to plan out our entire lives? If I've learned nothing else in the past 2 1/2 years, it's that our "plans" can get turned inside out faster than we have time to come up with a backup.

Up until a couple of years ago, everything was going according to my program. I had completed college with my B. Arch. I found a job that paid well and I enjoyed working there. I was in in a relationship that I was certain would be "the one". All I had left to do was move back to NY to get an even better job, and eventually get married and settle into my perfectly swank city lifestyle.

Here I am now, life more uncertain than ever. I'm still in VA. I'm still working in that same firm but the economy has caused us to cut hours and hope for more work to come in. I'm married to a Marine in a time of active war.

The script of our lives is so much more cohesive than we can see with our plans. God has had this worked out before we ever came into being. And I figured that out when many of my plans fell apart. I love living in VA. The culture is friendlier and more family oriented. In NY, I'd be chasing my career more than relationships with those around me. Not to mention, it's beautiful here with all it's natural splendor. I'm not making the kind of money I could be making if I lived in NY, but I'm also working for a man that values integrity above all else, understands the importance of life beyond the office and wants to help me succeed in my field.

Perhaps the most dramatic part in the "script" so far, is my Marine. I would never have seen this coming. I'm the sophisticated, intellectual city girl that would marry someone of similar background like another designer or physician or IT consultant. We would buy a home upstate, settle and start our family in a couple of years after travelling the globe... Instead, I met Travis, a sweet kid that was too young for me but it was like having another little brother. He joined the Marines and came back as a confident man, more focused, but his heart as big as ever. I was proud of who he was becoming. And I knew he'd make some girl very happy one day. My long term relationship fell to pieces and so did my heart. In my most broken moment, I asked God to take control of it all, because I was done making plans. And he brought this young Marine back into my life as a friend and confidant. Travis allowed me to be myself, like I was around family, and gave unconditional approval and love anyway. I couldn't understand why he would. He finally revealed that I wasn't just a pretty girl he got to hang out with, but that he thought he could really love me. He wanted to be the one that made me happy. WOW! That blew my mind and made me step back. My heart's in pieces, I'm not ready for this! Plus, he's moving a little too fast. I mean, he's basically proposing and we haven't even started dating. What I didn't know was that he was ready. He'd had this in his heart for years. All the time I was watching him grow up, he was loving me. After A LOT of prayer and contemplation, I decided to give it a shot. God was in control, right? I told him to take over. Eight months in, he properly proposed, a year later we got married. And now the real adventure starts as a military wife with a career. I don't know where we will live in a couple of years or if he'll be called over to Afghanistan. But I think it's been worth the worry. He's made me happy and is trying to everyday. God's been very good to us and I'll continue let him write the script.

What really matters...

Over the last couple of days, I've been witness to the closest bond of love and comradary I've ever seen between men. Watching a group of Marines honor one of their own that's passed on unexpected is a tragic but beautiful thing to behold. There are enough examples of men fighting to gain power, position & wealth. I've seen enough malice and manipulation for the sake of personal gain. But sitting in that funeral service and listening to the stories of this man's life as a husband, father, friend and Marine, helped restore my hope in humanity and solidify my faith. It is possibly for a person to love unconditionally. It is possible to impact to lives of hundreds with simple acts of kindness and a positive attitude. His example in life has taught and inspire so many and he wasn't a powerful ,well-known person. Just someone that understood the importance of an open hand and an open heart.