Have Yourself A Merry Little...

Christmas may have missed the Bankston house this year... well, actually, duty on Christmas day happened. It's been nearly impossible for us to get excited about anything knowing that he will be working. Also, it's my second Christmas not at home with my mom and I've been having a really tough time defining what this time of year means to me without my family. I am happy to see people's hearts and minds turn toward Jesus and what his coming to Earth means for us. It's definitely worth celebration. But what do trees and lights and cookies and presents all mean when you don't share it with people who you deeply love...

In spite of my mood, I pray that joy, hope, love and peace are abundant in everyone's life, especially this day. Those are the thing Jesus brought us and what better way to celebrate. Merry Christmas...

First Snow Day of the Winter...

Although it wasn't as dramatic as last winter's introduction, Thursday's snow was a gorgeous reminder of the season...

Welcome Winter...

Erica...

I am always amazed at how incredibly strong and fragile we can be. What amazes me even more is how limited our perception of strength and frailty can be.

Erica had a physical disability and battled many health issues, but that never seemed to bother her. And if you spent more than 5 minutes with her, you would forget about it too. Her capacity to care and love far exceeded what her body allowed her to do. She was a natural caregiver and encourager... Very seldom was there not a smile on her face... I'm absolutely sure she would literally give someone the shirt off her back if they were in need. It was like she radiated light and positivity. I feel very fortunate to have known her and call her my friend.

She married a great guy that shared that same genuine giving heart. He's been her rock when she needed. It was beyond painful and strangely beautiful to see him care for and love her in her final hours here. He only left her side to refill his coffee and take phone calls. He invited us in to see her and pray and cry with him. He wanted her to be surrounded by the love she had shown the rest of us when she was able to. Once again, I feel fortunate to have seen such love and devotion with my own eyes.

After the difficult decision to remove her from life support, her heart beat for 33 hours before she passed. I like to think that her heart was so strong because she loved so unconditionally.

What Sarah Said...

And it came to me then

 That every plan is a tiny prayer to father time

As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409

And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself

That I'd already taken too much today

As each descending peak on the LCD

Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines

In a place where we only say goodbye

It stung like a violent wind that our memories

Depend on a faulty camera in our minds

But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose

Than to have never lain beside at all

And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground

As the TV entertained itself

 

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room

Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news

And then the nurse comes 'round and everyone lifts their heads

But I'm thinking of what Sarah said: "Love is watching someone die"

~ Death Cab for Cutie : What Sarah Said